Lovers and Liars
by Pika Pants
Summary: Zell misses his blue eyes the most. But most of all, he misses the way they used to sparkle. Squell angst ensues! DISCONTINUED until I play the game again. x.x
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own FFVIII otherwise I'd be much more successful in life. (:

Warnings: Includes boyxboy love. Don't like? Don't read.

Enjoy.

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**Lovers and Liars**

**Chapter 1**

We're happy together, aren't we?

I ask myself this every day upon waking up next to him. I try to tell myself that it's not wrong to ask it, but I always still feel guilty. Then I'm forced to wash away the guilt with a hot shower. By the time I'm out, he's always awake, but not. He has that far-away, spaced out look in his eyes, and, every day like a never-ending cycle, I'd be forced to snap him out of it. He'd stare up at me, blue eyes hazed over, blink a few times, then smile up at me as if just realizing who I was. He'd tell me "Good Morning" then get up himself to take a shower, afterwards getting out to complain that I used up all the hot water, and I'd smile, because I know I did.

But it's been hard lately. Every time I've been telling him I love him, he'd just look at me sadly and tell me he knows. I know what it means but I don't want to believe it. I don't want to know who he's looking at now with the eyes he used to look at me with. The eyes full of love, that sparkled upon their every open moment.

Whoever it is, they're very lucky.

And I hope they realize it.

I just wish he could still feel like that towards me. I wonder where I went wrong in this relationship. Did I stop being around too much? I don't see how, since I'm always the one to set up our dates and plans. But maybe, just maybe, I wasn't paying enough attention to him. Maybe he needed me when I didn't know it. Maybe I'm just being too paranoid about this all.

When Squall comes back from training, I promise to do something extra special for him.

I have to make him love me again.

I just have to.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own! Raaa.

Warnings: See first chapter.

**A/N**: WOO! This was updated ahead of time due to my only reviewers' birthday. :D Happy Birthday Zierra! Thank you for your very inspiring and motivational review. :3

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**Lovers and Liars**

**Chapter 2**

I wasted the majority of the day away tidying up (which should surprise Squall, considering how messy I always am) and organiz

I wasted the majority of the day away tidying up (which should surprise Squall, considering how messy I always am) and organizing Squall's bookshelf. I couldn't help it. I was so nervous. My whole body shook with anticipation at the night I had planned. I set up a really nice spot on the balcony in the Training Center, complete with picnic baskets, candles, and wine-- with the help of Quistis, of course. She had to post up 'No Entry' signs all over the place so no one else would intrude. But, it being Quistis, her work did not come cheap. I ended up owing her a free trip to Balamb, but I didn't mind so much. It was worth it, really.

I couldn't wait to see the look on Squall's face when he sees what I've planned for us.

By four o' clock I was a nervous wreck. I was pacing in the small Dorm that Squall and I shared, eating away at my nails until they started bleeding. I called Squall on his cell phone four times, always being directed to his voice-mail. I called him earlier in the day to let him know to be back by noon. Cid said he had no assignments, which was why today was perfect for our outing. The blonde also promised me that if something came up he'd have either Selph or Irvine take it. So why was Squall late?

Tasting copper, I pulled my hand away and inspected my nails. The tips were oozing red liquid quite badly, and I swore under my breath, wiping them on my black shirt. I grunted and swore again, kicking at a random object, then storming out of the small room.

I was on my way to see Rinoa. She had to have seen Squall somewhere.

When I reached her dorm, she was already on her way out before getting sight of me and waving.

"Hey, Zell," she smiled at me merrily, the closing door giving off a breeze that caught her hair and swept it around her pale face.

"I'm looking for Squall," I spoke, also attempting to catch my breath, "have you seen him?"

This is where she froze. A deer caught in headlights- no; a Rinoa caught in Zell's path.

She began to fumble over her words, looking at everything aside from me.

"W-Well he said something about the Training Center but I dunno maybe Irvine's seen him maybe or Selphie or maybe Cid had an assignment or maybe-" she spoke so rapidly and babblishly that I had to strain to understand her. I had to cut her off before I cut her head off.

"You're lying!" I yelled, shooting her my most venomous glare. She shrunk back. Good. Effective.

She hesitated, then looked away with a guilt-stricken face. After a moment she looked back to her Dorm door. I took this as a sign. I stepped forward to open it, and she moved to give me space. My hand rested on the knob, hesitant. Was I really ready for this? Whatever lay beyond Rinoa's door, did I think I could handle it? I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to run away. I needed to know. I had to.

Slamming my eyes shut, I turned the knob as hard as I could and flew into the doorway before I even realized I did.

"Rinoa? What's..?" A too familiar voice.

"Ugh, what now? I thought you said she was…" another too familiar voice. They both cut off mid-sentence. I opened my eyes. I couldn't breathe. My chest was constricting. My vision blurred. Was I crying? I didn't even know. I stepped back and gently closed the door. I couldn't handle this. Not now. Not after everything I had planned. I was going to make everything right. I was going to fix this.

Which could only make me think: how long has this been going on?


End file.
